when 20 million hold your hand

I survived my first African road trip. 311 kilometers, 5 hours. And if that kind of maths doesn’t quite add up, you have to take a few things into consideration. Like the kids, and the goats, and the bikes, and the goats, and the kids, and the ox, and the pigs, and the cows, and the goats, and the police stops. 

We drove by some precariously stacked trucks, and a tractor, we were offered ‘mice on a stick’ (passed willingly by that opportunity), we had a hitchhiker in the car at one point, and on one bizarre police stop we were asked, almost demanded, to give the policeman “money for fanta”. And no, fanta isn’t code word for some underground drug or illegal cigarette, fanta is fanta. Fizzy orange soft drink. And he really wanted some, apparently. We offered him water, shook our heads and begrudgingly, he waved us on our way. 

through

the car

window.

It’s weird and incredible how doing absolutely nothing except gawk out the window and fall asleep on myself can exhaust me, but it did. And I slept long and wonderfully, up and ready – yesterday -  for a big and beautiful day. One of the biggest and most beautiful ever.

here's some big and beautiful smiles for you!

those eyes!

my, what big teeth you have.

 We spent the day in Nathenje, a village just out of Malawi’s capital. And my company were 70 odd orphans and vulnerable children, their volunteer teachers, and other kind and generous members of the local church. We sung songs, we did actions, we ran around outside. We ate together, played together and laughed at my big old camera together. Then we walked together, and walked and walked and walked together, and delivered blankets and soap to orphans in need. I ate goat meat with my hands, and took near on 1000 photos. And sitting on that dirt floor, with little hands grabbing at my skirt and giggling at my facial expressions, I felt so very, very alive and at home. 

the kids.

introducing herself.

Orange HOPE tee shirt represent!

I was clearly a major distraction.

songs & story time.

There are almost, very almost, too almost, more AIDS orphans in the world then there are Australians. Did you know that? I struggle to fathom it. And looking into those little eyes, catching those cheeky little smiles, just broke and impassioned my heart. It just puts things, life – HIV, into my world. Into my real. Into my tangible. 

big, beautiful, brown eyes.

together.

colour.

the teachers are amazing!

just chillin'

I’ll write about our Orphan Care programs soon, but right now all that flows from me is a message about the overwhelming joy of children. That innocence, that ability to love without limits, that absent sense of injustice. I don’t really know them and I miss them already, those 70 staring pairs of brown eyes. Those little giggles and those barefooted wiggling toes. 

priceless.

& perfect.

& I just want to cuddle this one.

& they are beautiful.

& she is precious.

barefoot wiggling toes.

I went back this morning for meal time, and sat on the floor. Not taking photos, not entertaining, but just sitting – enjoying their presence, thinking and smiling. In the same clothes as yesterday, shoeless, and big-bellied and astoundingly beautiful. Each and every one of them.

oh hey.

being a distraction again. typical.

the littlest.

wonderful volunteer!

I have a burden for these little lives. HOPE for AIDS does an incredible job at caring for, and loving on, and welcoming these precious ones into this hurting world. I toss and sway between being overjoyed and shattered by the thought of it all. 

joy.

how are these unposed!?

absolute favourite shot.

he was so mad at me.

Tears fall for the 20 million. The thought that I can’t help them all. But I am honored, humbled and overwhelmed by the opportunity to be part of caring for these few. 

love.

Psalm 139: 1-18

¹ You have searched me^, Lord,
    and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.  

⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth^.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake,I am still with you.

I’m the bridge between them and you, readers of the world, so join me here on the floor of Nathenje, as I’m learning what it means to love without limits.

Amen.

Amen. Amen. Amen.