it is finished.

Well, it’s finished.

My year and a half (ish) with Orange HOPE has come to an end. Sort of.

you can tell I'm really excited right?

 I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever really be done. I don’t think my passion will ever be quashed. I don’t think, until HIV and AIDS is rid within my lifetime; that I’ll really be content to be done with it all. I’m skeptical that this will ever happen. Skeptical, but hopeful. For what are we without hope? Emotionally, mentally and with experience, I’m much too invested. It has my heart.

But this really has been the most glorious adventure.

 It brings a great, choked up joy to my soul to think about how it’s impacted my life, but more so; how God has knit this thing so perfectly together. I really had no part to play.

Coming across the opportunity was mere coincidence. Entering the running was a last minute thing. I was led against my wishes to study health care all those years ago. Going to Africa was always only a distant, deep-seeded desire. And yet here I am. Having been, and gone, and researched, and spoken, and shared, and done things, read things, and written things beyond my wildest dreams.

So many dreams have been painted in this process. As I shared once in a session not too long ago, this is my life and life to the full (John 10:10).

For through this process I became a writer. This very blog was a product of Orange HOPE. With articles on social justice published, and read, it’s what I’ve always wanted. I became a photographer. Stilling my world. Printing calendars and canvases. Having people pay for my work, for a reason, for a purpose. My version of perfection. I became an advocator. A guest speaker. This shy, small girl stood in front of crowds a plenty and shared about the horrific nature of global poverty and unjust disease. And in doing so, I helped others to do something about it. I became both broken, and humbled. Holding orphan hands in the blistering sun, and sitting on old tarps outside leaking huts, I prayed for Gods heart, and in doing so, he broke, changed and shaped mine a whole lot more. A little, tiny step to understanding.

It’s been… remarkable. All together remarkable.

The last hoorah last night was a trivia night. I wrote the questions (many of which turned out to be wrong), I set out the tables, gave a little spiel, and wrote scores on a turn-around wipe board. It went well. And all was well with my heart, with my soul.

I'm not wearing shoes.... typical.

I felt it was the perfect ending. A good close (however temporary) to that chapter of my little life. And as today marks the one-week countdown till I leave, and move, and start my new adventure; I feel like it was a cherished, and important turning point.

I’m feeling a lot more calm then this time last week. I feel ready, collected, and a little more in control. I graduate on Friday, and leave on Sunday. Maybe by Wednesday it will be a different freak-out story, but I guess I’m just reminded that it will all be okay. It will all be okay, because I have nothing to fear. I have nothing to fear because I serve an eternal God.

some photos from my week.
my Bramble friend.

adaptors adaptors adaptors.

a little fact about me.
these fruit snacks? the only thing guaranteed
to make me gag.

the answer is me.

great picnics with even better friends.

souvenir shopping.

breathing in the last of my pretty city.

In the sermon at church this morning we read from John 14. We talked about eternal life. Not from the perspective of never-ending length, but of quality of life. Of again, that John 10:10, life and life to the full.

This life is not even my home. It’s a temporary, messed up holiday, and I’m just renting the skin I’m in. So it doesn’t matter where I am, or really what I do. It’s who I do it for. And He’s eternal.

And I can do that from Nebraska. After all, I’m only renting.