mafia, pillow forts and socks that don't match.

So, there is a lot of reasons why I love my church.

Church is people gathered in the name of Jesus Christ. I love that.

I love that I have grown up there, that I serve there, that I feel loved and comfortable there, and that I've been so supported there.

I've been attending since it began, when I was just a tiny little girl, and we all met in somebody's living room. Since then, it has grown, as have I; and me, and the church, have grown up together.

I've been on countless camps, been a part of the youth group forever, served as a leader for something like eight years, I've been part of home groups, and growth groups, and Bible Studies. I've held and attended fundraising events, taught creche and Sunday School, been supported in Scripture teaching and mission trips, and I was even employed there, for just over two years.

It was there I learnt to be a public speaker, a world-focused Kingdom agent for change, and a member of a loving, active community. It's the reason I have people of so many generations speaking into, and investing into, my life. That's invaluable to me. Knowing mothers, grandparents and kids is awesome. There are A LOT of reasons why I love my church. 

And I think last night epitomised that.

Tonight, I'm planning on eating a quiet dinner on my floor and watching Survivor with my brother, with an early night. Tomorrow, I graduate, the next day , I'm having a going away party, and the next day; I leave for the adventure of a lifetime. I feel like this is the last moment of quiet I have, before the storm. This week has been all about goodbyes, and packing, and each day has seemed like a whole long week. 

But last night, as a goodbye to me - my bible study converted the whole downstairs of a house into a blanket fort. We then sat inside it, ate junk food, and played mafia. In honour of me, everyone wore odd socks - because I always wear odd socks, and it was so wonderful, and I felt so loved.

There really is nothing like being a part of something bigger, and more important then yourself.

I don't think anyone ever has an excuse, no matter how old you are, not to build a blanket fort.

Countdown: 2 days.

why I would win Survivor

So, I'm going to America for a boy. Sure.

But everyone who has known me for more then 5 minutes knows that the real reason I'm going is to (eventually) get a US citizenship, for the sole purpose of being on Survivor.

And don't ask, "oh, that show is still going?" because YES, YES IT IS. And it's awesome. 

Now, I can be pretty humble. I know I'm not good at a lot of things. Like volleyball, bowling, maths, singing, music, making small talk and having "just one tim tam"... to name a few.

But, there are some things in life, that well, I am good at (and I choose to call that honest, as opposed to arrogant). And there isn't a doubt in my mind that I would be good, very good, at Survivor.

I've had about a decade to think about my strategy in full, and my theory is that I would either be voted off first (for some reason Christians almost always are..), or I would make it to the end and win. 

Here's my reasoning :

1. I have watched every season, and nothing gets me more excited. I know the game, I know the patterns, I know how it works. 

2. I like being outdoors. Camping is one of my favourite things in the world, and the thought of wearing no-makeup, boiling water over a fire, eating just rice and wearing the same thing for a month actually excites me. It's also familiar to me. Bring it.

a hideous photo of me tramping through the jungle in a skirt.

wilderness. yeah.

3. I'm a chronic hard worker. I figured out some stuff for my tax today and realised that over the past nine months, I've worked twelve jobs. Many at the same time. I love and thrive off being both productive, and busy. I would work around camp. I love working with my hands. People don't vote off cooks, people don't vote off the hard workers. And I'm addicted to camp fire smell. 

sowed my shoes with floss. 

4. For the first long while, I would keep my mouth shut. 

5. I would make an alliance early. I would grab the strong-willed person, and some other unattractive, lazy people that I could beat, and make a little team. Day one.

6. Lots of women have won Survivor. The trick is be adorable, be loyal, flirt a little, don't be a drop-kick in challenges and align yourself well. I'm such a people pleaser I think I would be okay to keep around. Besides, I have a killer Australian accent right? I plan to exploit that to its full potential.

my favourite survivor ever: Natalie.
/ the future me.

7. For a tiny little person, I'm quite strong. I run 10kms every weekday morning, with weights, and I can hold my own at anything high-ropes related. I can't swim, but I'm planning to get around that by being on an inland season. Yes, I have thought about this way too much.

8. I've already picked out the outfit I would take. A good quality swim-suit, a Tee shirt, and super lame pants with zips at the bottom, to covert them from long to short. I am prepared. And in case you were wandering, my younger brother is coming for the episode where they invite a family member. He already called dibs (alternatively we are going to be on the same season, but pretend we don't know one another. What a scandal).

of all the pictures on the net I picked this one
for obvious reasons

And so in summary.

Watch this space. I'm super determined.

With my mixture of early action, subtle flattery, hard work, all smiles and then big, risky moves at the end, I'm a guaranteed (arrogant) winner. 

Vote for me, America.

and let's be honest, I look great in a buff.

it is finished.

Well, it’s finished.

My year and a half (ish) with Orange HOPE has come to an end. Sort of.

you can tell I'm really excited right?

 I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever really be done. I don’t think my passion will ever be quashed. I don’t think, until HIV and AIDS is rid within my lifetime; that I’ll really be content to be done with it all. I’m skeptical that this will ever happen. Skeptical, but hopeful. For what are we without hope? Emotionally, mentally and with experience, I’m much too invested. It has my heart.

But this really has been the most glorious adventure.

 It brings a great, choked up joy to my soul to think about how it’s impacted my life, but more so; how God has knit this thing so perfectly together. I really had no part to play.

Coming across the opportunity was mere coincidence. Entering the running was a last minute thing. I was led against my wishes to study health care all those years ago. Going to Africa was always only a distant, deep-seeded desire. And yet here I am. Having been, and gone, and researched, and spoken, and shared, and done things, read things, and written things beyond my wildest dreams.

So many dreams have been painted in this process. As I shared once in a session not too long ago, this is my life and life to the full (John 10:10).

For through this process I became a writer. This very blog was a product of Orange HOPE. With articles on social justice published, and read, it’s what I’ve always wanted. I became a photographer. Stilling my world. Printing calendars and canvases. Having people pay for my work, for a reason, for a purpose. My version of perfection. I became an advocator. A guest speaker. This shy, small girl stood in front of crowds a plenty and shared about the horrific nature of global poverty and unjust disease. And in doing so, I helped others to do something about it. I became both broken, and humbled. Holding orphan hands in the blistering sun, and sitting on old tarps outside leaking huts, I prayed for Gods heart, and in doing so, he broke, changed and shaped mine a whole lot more. A little, tiny step to understanding.

It’s been… remarkable. All together remarkable.

The last hoorah last night was a trivia night. I wrote the questions (many of which turned out to be wrong), I set out the tables, gave a little spiel, and wrote scores on a turn-around wipe board. It went well. And all was well with my heart, with my soul.

I'm not wearing shoes.... typical.

I felt it was the perfect ending. A good close (however temporary) to that chapter of my little life. And as today marks the one-week countdown till I leave, and move, and start my new adventure; I feel like it was a cherished, and important turning point.

I’m feeling a lot more calm then this time last week. I feel ready, collected, and a little more in control. I graduate on Friday, and leave on Sunday. Maybe by Wednesday it will be a different freak-out story, but I guess I’m just reminded that it will all be okay. It will all be okay, because I have nothing to fear. I have nothing to fear because I serve an eternal God.

some photos from my week.
my Bramble friend.

adaptors adaptors adaptors.

a little fact about me.
these fruit snacks? the only thing guaranteed
to make me gag.

the answer is me.

great picnics with even better friends.

souvenir shopping.

breathing in the last of my pretty city.

In the sermon at church this morning we read from John 14. We talked about eternal life. Not from the perspective of never-ending length, but of quality of life. Of again, that John 10:10, life and life to the full.

This life is not even my home. It’s a temporary, messed up holiday, and I’m just renting the skin I’m in. So it doesn’t matter where I am, or really what I do. It’s who I do it for. And He’s eternal.

And I can do that from Nebraska. After all, I’m only renting.