rejection.

It came again this morning.

A long one this time, polite, well written; encouraging. 

It's a rejection email. It's a "thanks for coming in and being interviewed" - and here's the kicker -  "BUT, we just don't feel with you leaving in April..."

etc etc, they go on pretty much the same.

Off the top of my head I can think of at least twelve interviews I have been to in the last couple of months. My life, since the end of December, has been job hunting. And I've been mostly unsuccessful. 

You know you've hit a rough patch when you get rejected by the take-away chicken shop, and the boarding dog kennels. Because you "look fourteen and are religious" (chicken shop), and you, okay - almost accidentally choke a dog during your trial (it was an accident).

For a while, I scooped bunny poop and cleaned cages for a living. Right now, I'm working as a nanny, a cleaner, and a waitress. 

Interview, after interview, after interview it's been the same. We don't want someone just till April. 

In December, I could pass April off as 5 months of work. Now, it's really only one and a bit. But God has been good, and has given me time to rest, and add to the ridiculous length of my resume. 

How long should a resume be? I don't know, but mine is 4-5 pages. Five has always been my favourite number, so I'm keen to keep it that way. But by now, I have quite an extensive list of occupations. 

I have worked in a pet store, in a cafe, as a personal assistant, at an accounting firm, as a ministry trainee, in retail, as a nanny, as a bunny poop scooper, as the Ambassador of an HIV and AIDS organisation, as a hay bailer, a gardener, a waitress, a kitchen hand and a cleaner.

You can choose to see this one of two ways; I have such a varied skill set, or,  I'm completely desperate. 

This is, I believe, a season of humbling in my life, and God has been teaching me so much.

But here are 50 other things I have learnt from my varied "career" path:

1. I am a terrible cleaner. I just don't care about detail.

2. From retail, Christmas mums are crazy. Don't cross them.

3. Bleach in your eye? Yeah it sucks.

4. Shredding is enjoyable. I'm weird. 

5. 'The Little Rascals' is a good movie, just not when you watch it five times a shift, every shift. 

6. Accidentally leaving out a stanley knife, in a baby clothes store, does not go down well with the parents. Especially when their toddler picks it up, believing it's a crayon.

7.  Regional managers are always grumpy.

8. I.T support is always busy.

9. Being a mum is hard. Really hard.

10.  Six year olds can learn to burp on que.

11. If you don't have bread, you can still make fairy bread. With butter on a spoon, dipped in sprinkles. I am terrible.

12. I like the smell of hay.

13. I'm good at working with my hands. I enjoy bailing hay and ripping out tree stumps, who knew.

14. Beef vindaloo doesn't come in 'mild'.

15. If you give a couple no plates, no cutlery, and no spoons to serve their curry; they won't say anything. They'll just be sad, and silent.

16. After eating it five nights in a row, you can get sick of butter chicken.

17. I'm a cutlery wrapping expert.

18. Some rabbits have attitude problems. 

19. Some rabbits have digestive problems. 

20. Jokes don't translate from English into Korean.

21. I can now fluently pronounce Nawabi Seekh Kebab, Fish Amritsari, Ajwain Wali Machli, Sarson Ka Saag and Shahi Paneer Makhani; and many others. 

22. To clean a mirror without streaks, you need a dry cloth.

23. Kids are loud.

24. Milk vomit stinks.

25. Baby cuddles are wonderful.

26. Kids love doughnuts covered with ice cream, who knew.

27. I am great at playing schools, going on pretend road trips, being a pirate, and playing split personalities at a fashion show.

28. I can't draw.

29. I am terrible at maths.

30. Visual Merchandising is stupid.

31. Photocopying tax returns is strangely therapeutic, and makes me happy.

32. So is playing with harma beads.

33. I hate loosing at snakes and ladders.

34. Parking in school zones, at rush hour, is a night mare. 

35. Misunderstandings about discount signs, or refund policies, is worthy of shouting and tantrums. Sometimes from the customers, sometimes from me.

36. Letting a 6 year old do your makeup before uni, is not a good idea. You forget it's on.

37. There is only so many times you can read a story book, before you want to throw it from high places.

38. "Mixed pickles" in a New Zealand accent is incredibly difficult to understand. 

39. Goat is cooked on the bone.

40. Indian food is where it's at.

41. Playing youth group games with chickens, fish, ox tongue and octopus begins to be questionable after a time.

42. Year 6 kids are tallen then me.

43. Telling these tall, 30 year 6 kids that "Jesus hung out with prostitutes" is an enormous mistake.

44. When you ask a three year old, 'where are you manners?' and she says, 'on the window', you say 'well fair enough then', and go on with your day.

45. Remembering returning customers and calling them "butter chicken sauce guy" is not a compliment.

46. Being on the radio is terrifying. 

47. Year 12 girls schools are terrifying.

48. God has blessed the shy, introverted person with skills in mass communication. Go figure.

49. Church politics is complicated.

50. I have inherited my mothers organising gene.

And on that note, to go along, here are 50 relatively recently enjoyed phone photos:

an elephant in its jungle. 

oh retail, how I don't miss you.

oh you thought I nannied live kids? your mistake.

playing schools.

like a boss.

yep.

I have an intense love for breakfast.

a sequin suit.

found this tee-shirt in my dress up box and fell
madly in love.
Yes it says "contable care".

If you ever feel sad about puberty,
feel free to look at this.

oh Christmas.

not my first time.

parking is my kryptonite. 

see number 28.

Christmas tradition!

baking bread.

the St Mary's statue of the boy with the iPad.

baked an apple pie and was pretty dayum proud of it.

OFF TO CAROLS.

I was over weight once. proof.

another wonderful Christmas traidition.

what me and Ben left out for Santa:
macarons, bananas, saltana bran, jelly, caramel sauce,
crackers, paprika, rice wine vinegar, tuna and almonds.

sometimes this happens.

my favourite Christmas present.

cleared these. 

gardening.

a picture of some famous, smiling, Christian America.
It makes me laugh.

as does this.

a new fave mug.

Milo the blind bunny.

cleared that. boom. 

RABBIT.

one of my Monday dates.

Indian. 

one of my Wednesday dates.

a humerous mug.

again, with the breakfast obsession.

friend cuddles.

video adventures.

a borrowed friend.

some amazing new gift socks.

amazing macarons.

after straightening up. twice.

a new love.

little girls play shoes. which I fit into.

Blair.

Valentines.

a Sunday date.

my Sunday clothes swap.

the end of a story book.
which I thought was a little intense?